Headline News Lyrics

Headline News lyrics

@HEADLINE NEWS

 Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic

 Music by Crash Test Dummies

 

 Once there was this kid who

 Took a trip to Singapore

 And brought along his spraypaint

 And when he finally came back

 He... had... cane marks all over his bottom

 He said that it was from when

 The warden whacked it so... hard...

 

 Mmm mmm mmm mmm

 Mmm mmm mmm mmm

 

 Once there was this girl who

 Swore that one day she would be

 A figure skating champion

 And when she finally made it

 She... saw... some other girl who was better

 So she hired some guy

 To club her in the knee... cap....

 

 Mmm mmm mmm mmm

 Mmm mmm mmm mmm

 

 They got paid for their sound-bites

 And sold their TV movie rights

 

 And then there was this guy who

 Made his wife so mad one night

 That she cut off his weiner

 And when he finally came to

 He... found... that Mr. Happy was missing

 He couldn't quite explain, it had always just

 Been... there....

 

 Mmm mmm mmm mmm

 Mmm mmm mmm mmm

 


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 Anil (Bob) Kapur

 

 

 "The answers to life's problems