The Night Santa Went Crazy Lyrics

The Night Santa Went Crazy lyrics

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys  

 For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys  

 When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death  

 Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath  

 From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo  

 Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo  

 And he smiled and said, with a twinkle in his eye,  

 "Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"  

 The night Santa went crazy  

 The night St. Nick went insane  

 Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal  

 Something finally must have snapped in his brain  

  

 Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it  

 Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet  

 And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage  

 And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage  

 He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger  

 And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger  

 And he picked up a flamethrower and barbecued Blitzen  

 And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"  

  

 The night Santa went crazy  

 The night Kris Kringle went nuts  

 Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole  

 Without steppin' in reindeer guts  

  

 There's the National Guard and the F. B. I.  

 There's a van from the Eyewitness News  

 And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky  

 And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'  

 And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?  

 My my my my my my  

 You used to be such a jolly guy  

  

 Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time  

 In a federal prison for his infamous crime  

 Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears  

 He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years  

 But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous  

 And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service  

 And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night  

 With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights  

  

 They're talkin 'bout the night Santa went crazy  

 The night St. Nicholas flipped  

 Broke his back for some milk and cookies  

 Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped  

  

 Wo, the night Santa went crazy  

 The night St. Nick went insane  

 Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal  

 Something finally must have snapped in his brain  

 Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain  

 Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain