Jerry Springer Lyrics

Jerry Springer lyrics

It's been one week since we got to see  

 Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry  

 Five days since they had the show  

 With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho  

 Three days since we heard the tale  

 About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male  

 Yesterday it occurred to me  

 That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer  

  

 Holy cow, d'you see it last week?  

 Well, they had this one freak  

 Who sucker-punched his whole family  

 Do you recall when the brawl  

 Became a total free-for-all?  

 And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee  

 Hey, see the stripper with the implants?  

 She likes to lap dance  

 And date the boyfriend of her mother  

 Now here comes Jerry's next guest  

 And it's a slugfest  

 'Cause it's her trailer trash brother  

 Nymphomaniac is back on crack  

 It's like "When Animals Attack"  

 They all exhibit reprehensible behavior  

 Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes  

 Step on their toes, that's how it goes  

 They get so violent they have to sign a waiver  

  

 They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt and pointin' blame  

 On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame  

 There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange  

 When he found out that his wife had a sex change  

 They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly  

 They have a history of ripping off their shirts  

  

 It's been one week since they had the fight  

 With the Siamese twins and the transvestite  

 Five days since that awful brawl  

 They still haven't got the blood off the wall  

 It's been three days since the bitter feud  

 Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude  

 Yesterday, finally dawned on me  

 I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer  

  

 male Springer guest: Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister.  

 female Springer guest: Oh, which one?  

 male Springer guest: All of 'em.  

 female Springer guest: Ah, well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend
Jake.  

 male Springer guest: Yeah? W-Well, me too! And, I've been sleepin' with your
dog Woofie!  

 female Springer guest: Woofie, you b*tch! Well I'm also sleepin' with your pet
goat!  

 male Springer guest: That goat doesn't love you!  

  

 Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'  

 Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'  

 Jerry's the king of confrontation  

 He's a sensation  

 He puts the 'sin' in syndication  

 It's totally worthless, like a bad check  

 It's like a train wreck  

 Don't wanna stare, but you can't look away  

 Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows  

 But with more weirdos  

 The ratings jumpin' higher every day  

 If you've seen the show, well then you know  

 It's just as low as you can go  

 The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene  

 And pretty soon some ugly goon  

 Comes in the room and then it's BOOM  

 In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen  

  

 Well, it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities  

 Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies  

 "Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant  

 Should I turn off my TV? I just can't  

 I have a tendency to watch it religiously  

 I have a history of taping each one  

  

 It's been one week since the show about  

 Psycho killers with problems they should work out  

 Five days since the big surprise  

 When some loser's wife said that she's still dating twenty guys  

 Three days since he interviewed  

 A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude  

 Yesterday, it occurred to me  

 That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer  

 Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer  

 I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer  

 Come over here and pull on my finger