Amish Paradise Lyrics

Amish Paradise lyrics

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain  

 I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain  

 But that's just perfect for an Amish like me  

 You know I shun fancy things like electricity  

 At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows  

 Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool  

 And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that  

 Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone  

 I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline  

 Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin  

 But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine  

 Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699  

 We been spending most our lives  

 Living in an Amish paradise  

 I've churned butter once or twice  

 Living in an Amish paradise  

 It's hard work and sacrifice  

 Living in an Amish paradise  

 We sell quilts at a discount price  

 Living in an Amish paradise  

  

 A local boy kicked me in the butt last week  

 I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek  

 I really don't care, in fact I wish him well  

 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell  

 But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it  

 An Amish with a 'tude?  

 You know that's unheard of  

 I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat  

 And my homies agree  

 I really look good in black... fool  

 If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears  

 We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years  

 But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare  

 We're just technologically impaired  

  

 There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar  

 Not a single luxury  

 Like Robinson Caruso  

 It's as primitive as can be  

  

 We been spending most our lives  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

 We're just plain and simple guys  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

 There's no time for sin and vice  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

 We don't fight, we all play nice  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

  

 Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter  

 Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter  

 Think you're really righteous?  

 Think you're pure in heart?  

 Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art  

 I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like  

 On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife  

 So don't be vain and don't be whiny  

 Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie  

  

 We been spending most our lives  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

 We're all crazy Mennonites  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

 There's no cops or traffic lights  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

 But you'd probably think it bites  

 Living in an Amish Paradise  

  

 Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh  

 ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch