Otto Titsling Lyrics

Otto Titsling lyrics

Otto Titsling, inventor and krout,

had nothing to get very worked up
about.

His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak.

He
fled to the opera at least twice a week



One night at the opera he
saw an aida

who's bust was so big it would often impede her.

Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,

done in by the weight of
those terrible tits.



Oh, my god! There she blows!

Aerodynamically this girl was a mess.

Otto eye-balled the diva lying
comatose amongst the reeds,

and he suddenly felt the fire of
inspiration

flood his soul.

He ran back to his workshop

where
he futzed and futzed and futzed.



For Otto Titsling had found his
quest:

to lift and mold the female breast;

to point the small ones
to the sky;

to keep the big ones high and dry!



Every night
he'd sweat and snort

searching for the right support.

He tried some
string and paper clips.

Hey! He even tried his own two lips!



Well, he stitched and he slaved

and he slaved and he stitched

until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,

Otto arose from
his workbench triumphant.

Yes! He had invented the worlds first

over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hooray!



Exhausted but ecstatic
Otto ran

out to the diva

bearing the prototype in his hot little
hand.

Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.

But,
after many initial mishaps,

she finally did.

And the sigh of relief
that issued forth

from her mouth

was so loud that it was mistaken by
some

to be the early onset of the Seraken Winds

which would often
roll through the Schwarzwald

with a vengence!

Ahhhhh-i!



But little did Otto know,

at the moment of his greatest triumph,

lurking under the diva's bed

was none other than the very worst

of the french patent thieves,

Phillip DeBrassiere.

And Phil was
watching the scene

with a great deal of interest!



Later that
night, while Broom Hilda slept,

into the wardrobe Phillip softly
crept.

He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,

'til he
found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door.



Crying, "Oh, my
god! What joy! What bliss!

I'm gonna make me a million from this!

Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.

I will have all the goods
manufactured in Taiwan."



The result of this swindle is pointedly
clear:

Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?