I Keed I Keed Lyrics

I Keed I Keed lyrics

I thought my CD was done

But that's not what THEY say

'Do an insult track

We need it for radio play!'

Cram in the names

I'll take a long, hard pee

To mess up the biz

Like an MP3



American Idol

That's who I look for

In the 'poop' section

Of my local record store

Reuben or Clay

Oh, which should I pick?

It's like choosing which puddle

Of vomit to lick

And when I want something

Even more fruity and fake

I look up 'n' for N'Sync

Or 't' for Timberlake

So many skills

Justin's making a buck at

Does he rap, does he sing?

He doesn't know what to suck at

Now, as for the bitches

Let's give Britney thanks

For the face that launched

A million pre-teen skanks

You were a virgin

That had to be hard

You've had more bones in your mouth

Than a St. Bernard



I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

I joke with you

(Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

You're a great actress, too

(Little dog, little joke)



Now let's go to Wal-Mart

Where they won't sell my CD

That company's nuts

Are in a jar, in aisle 3

But you can see Christina

In all her slut-tude

It's like watching porn

But the music's not as good

I want to stuff

My TV's crotch with a dollar

Still I'd hump you

If I could wear my flea collar

You're looser than my poop

After eating honeydew

Only 50 Cents been plugged more than you

More than you

And yet you're too old

For Fred Durst to desire

He's checking out the cast

Of Lizzy McGuire

Soon Fred'll try

To get Mandy Moore

To open for him

And I don't mean on tour

You're not the first, Durst

For R.Kelly

His videos premiere

At the LAPD

I believe they set up

An innocent guy

and you know what else?

I believe I can fly



I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

I joke with you

(Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

I believe Michael, too, yeah

(Little dog, little joke)



Now look how friggin' cool

Those guys from The Strokes are

Their riffs are three times

As old as my jokes are

Hey White Stripes guy

Is that your wife or your sister?

Shouldn't you be playing

Country music mister?

Hey Coldplay

Maybe you should be 'Coldsore'

Back when you were U2

I liked you so much more

Somehow your song 'Yellow'

Reminds me of pee

I think 'cause when it's over

It's a big relief to me

Yo, Pink -

Is that your hair or a tattoo?

I didn't know Supercuts

Had a drive-thru

Yo, Nelly

What the hell kind of name is that?

That's about as gangster

As an Easter bonnet hat

And Snoop says he's clean now?

You make the call

The guy's higher

Than Billy Joel's cholesterol

Snoop . . .

There's only room for one dog, putz

And I can rap

Can you lick your own nuts?

Poop Diddy

Are you in showbusiness still?

I didn't know wearing

A suit was a skill

J. Lo, J. Lo

The giant tail-o

For a doggy's nose

That's the holy grail-o

Shakira's butt's fine

But it won't hold still, you see

I sniffed Elton John's tush

Just for all the history

I sniffed J. Lo's ass

And got too touchy-feely

She let loose a bomb

That was bigger than 'Gigli'



I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

I joke with you

(Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed

(Nothin' wrong witcha butt)

I even like . . . I don't like Affleck

(Nothin' wrong witcha butt)



Avril Lavigne, punk queen?

Now there's a kidder

Go back north

Celine needs a babysitter

Phillip Glass, atonal ass

You're not immune

Write a song with

A fucking tune

And on the list of pussies

Don't leave off MTV

I scare them and Eminem

So they gave the hook to me

Slim Shady

Why do you find me so scary?

We're just two regular dudes

Who banged Mariah Carey

Wipe of that frown

Just do without it

Hey, my mom was a bitch, too

But I don't go writing songs about it



I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

I joke with you

(Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

You know I never meant to hurt you

(Never meant to make you cry)

I keed, I keed

(He just make a little joke)

It's a joke, you see?

(Laughy, laughy, laughy, ha, ha)

Let's stop hating each other

(He just make a little joke)

Leave the pooping to me

(Rock it to me, sock it to me)

Rock it to me, sock it to me

Rock it to me, sock it to me

Rock it to me, sock it to me

I'm a rapping dog

And I'm here to say

Rappa, rappa, rappa

Tappa, happa, happa