Tortured Man Lyrics

Tortured Man lyrics

Ladies and Gentlemen, I will now bring you one of the greatest vertuosos of

 our time

 

 A radio star, I hate my TV

 My life is on film, yet it sucks being me

 (Shut up, sit down)

 My life's a wreck, I'm bored with sex

 I've go a big nose and a skinny neck

 I can't sing, I can't dance

 I make money to talk about the junk in my under pants

 

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 I can't beleive I am who I am

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 I can't beleive I am who I am

 

 (I told you not to be stupid you moron)

 (Shut up, sit down)

 (Oh, oh, oh)

 (Bababooey)

 (Oh, that's good)

 (He, he, he, he, he)

 When Terri Hatcher was on my show

 She came onto me, I was tempted to go

 Heather Locklear, she thinks I'm great

 I would bet my life I could get her on the first date

 Courtney Love, Madonna, and Sharon Stone

 I could get them all together and make each one moan

 Tammy, Raquel, Carmen, Jenny Macarthy, Demi, I mean Demi

 (He, he, he, he, he)

 

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 I can't beleive I am who I am

 

 I like my farts, I'm immature

 They say I'm great, but I'm not sure

 My whole life sucks, each minute blows

 This gangely body, this monsterous nose

 This droopy ass, this tiny shween

 No wonder I get on the air and act so mean

 I wish my life were much more simple

 I've got a wookie the size of a pimple

 

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 I can't beleive I am who I am

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 I can't beleive I am who I am

 

 I'm a tortured man

 (I think so)

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 I'm a tortured man

 (Shut up, sit down)

 I'm a tortured man

 (I told you not to be stupid you moron)

 (I'm just thinking for a minute, should I trade half my money

 for ten times as much sex?)

 (It's an equation from hell)

 (Oh, that's good)

 (It's an equation from hell)

 (Oh)

 (It's an equation from hell)

 (Oh, that's good)

 (It's an equation from hell)

 (Oh)