How May I Help You? Lyrics

How May I Help You? lyrics


[concept and lyrics by Mikee W Goodman]



This is a story bout

A little man named Rod Who did not have a mind of his own

Just went along with his pathetic lonely



Even when he went to school

The teachers said jump and he jumped and he jumped and he jumped

Then he fell on the floor



Never let his feelings out

Didn't have any friends

Once he left school he hoped

This would

All change now

But

It was not to be

The world for him to see

Mercy

Oh, mercy



Arrrgghhhh!!!!!!!!



He had to get a job

Wanted to go somewhere in the middle of nowhere to relax for a while

He went to work on a boat as a cabin boy

"Get on you knees and scrub the decks, I want to see you sweating

Make sure you're in my quarters around half past ten this evening"

He didn't like this one bit

He got to get another job

So he jumped off the boat and swam to shore to work on the beach in a bar



He met a chick working there who was just like him Not too pretty, Not too
pretty

She was sad and lonely just like him

They went to the cinema together and then Went back to his room and

Made sweet loving to each others only friend Only friend



The night after he walked out of the room and heard a voice shout

"Boy! Go pick the dead rats outta the drain!!"



First day

But it's OK

From then he talks to Rodney like shit all day



But Rod, doesn't do anything, just keeps it in



He thinks, "fuck it, I just put up with this shit I got a girl and a
friend I don't need nothing else"



"How are you doing, my good man?

(As Rodney gazes at Miranda) You like the ladies, eh?

I see you got good taste, Miranda is very nice girl, very nice girl"



"What's that supposed to mean? You trying something, say it!

Very friendly girl, very friendly girl, what's that supposed to mean?"



Where does he go from here, What's going on?



"Miranda your girl?" 

"Yeah, what of it?"

"She very good expressing her affection for her friends,

She my girl, your girl, everyone's girl"

"So you're saying that you and all the other people that have come into
this here bar have been with her?

But no one's come in for days, apart from a couple of piss-heads"

"She had lovely tight cheeks!"

"Not after I saw to her"



Rod was furious

Rod said to Miranda

"How could you do this to me?" "Well once I was with you my
whole life changed!"

"So you got the confidence to disgrace yourself?"

"No longer do I want to be a slave!" "What? What did you
say?"

Asked Miranda would she say sorry "You're weird, stay away from
me!"

Then he put some Laxatives into her tea

(noises)



And he was on his own again