The Lonesome Kicker Lyrics

The Lonesome Kicker lyrics

Transcribed By:  Michael T. Balonek
My helmet is equipped with a tiny face
mask.
What it possibly could protect, I do not know.
The other guys on
the team like to make fun of my little shoulder pads,
And also like to hide
my special shoe that I made to kick in the snow.
People think it's so easy
to kick a field goal from the 30 yard line,
But they forget to add 7 yards
for the snap and ten more 'cause the goal
posts are pushed way back.
In
1974, the uprights were right on the goal lines, but some of the
players
were running into them and getting hurt.
So screw the kicker.
Who cares
about the kicker?
But I kick that ball,
And I pray it goes
straight,
If it does, the coach says, "Good Job, Number 8."
He doesn't
even know my name,
It's Andre Christochovitchlalinsky, Jr.
But that's the
life I live,
The lonesome kicker.
Kick-offs can be so very
scary,
Especially if the returner breaks right through,
And I'm the only
guy on the playing field left to tackle him.
I don't want to get hurt,
So
I pretend to tie my shoe.
Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my
coaches.
"Go back where you came from!" screamed 70 million fans.
Well I
know I could win their love back by catching a winning touchdown,
But
unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands.
Well, I hope the
camera's don't come in too close,
'Cause they might see the tears in my
eyes,
As I sit on this bench made of cold, hard wood,
And the splinters
go deep in my thighs.
Oh, the towel-boy snickers when he walks by,
The
lonesome kicker.
Another blocked kick
And everybody blames me
But it
was the left guard
Who didn't pick-off his
man!
Oh, why can't they
see?
In my home country, I could've been a minor-league soccer
player,
But I came to America seeking fortune, and seeking fame.
I didn't
realize that if I shanked one and blew the point spread,
Some drunk guys
would push me into their Hibachi after the game.
So I go home at night,
'cause I never get invited to go drinking with
the other guys,
And I sit
on a chair and soak my feet,
As I eat a plate of cold french-fries,
And
my wife's out with a quote-unquote "friend",
And my son can't look me in the
eye.
Well that's the life I live,
The lonesome kicker.
Kickin' for
you...
They took my snow shoe...
They're going for....two.......
Ooh,
ooh.