Dancin` And Pantsin` Lyrics

Dancin` And Pantsin` lyrics

When I was a young man
I didn't like to dance
I was shy
I'd stand
against the wall all night
I'd never take a chance
So afraid
I
wouldn't get on that dance floor
Unless I was really drunk
10
shots
But I found a place where the stars hang out
And they taught me how
to funk
Real nasty
It ain't too far away
It's just on the edge of
town
Nearby
But be ready when you get there
'Cause these folks don't
fuck around
You can
Rub your belly with Liza Minelli
Covered in jelly,
you're gonna rub your belly
Jiggle your droopy balls with singin' Lou
Rawis
Bounce off the walls, then jiggle them droopy balls
Grind your hips
with the blond guy from CHIPS
Lick your lips
Stroke it clean with Martin
Sheen
It's fucking obscene
Clench your ass-cheeks tight with sexy grandma
Betty White
You'll see the light when your sphincter's tight
If you don't
know how to move
Just feel the groove
And dance
Like you just shit
your pants
Spin like a little girl
With cross-dressing Milton
Berle
Just give it a whirl, pretend you're a little girl
Wave that juicy
weeno with legendary Al Pacino
Wave your weeno, even more obsceno
Knock
back a drink with Colonel Klink
Piss in the sink
Bounce your beef with
Omar Sharif
What a relief
Ring the disco bell with ice cream wizard Tommy
Carvel
Tommy Carvel gonna make your dink swell
Then spew all over the
room
With Mr. Jeffry Goldblum
And dance
Like you just shit your
pants
Mr. Belvedere
Fatty Fatty
Finger in his own rear
Bernard
King
Basketball, basketball
Showing off his ding-a-ling
Swimming Mark
Spitz
Moustache, moustache
Playing with his hairy tits
Big Earl
Weaver, Tommy Seaver
Both of them got the boogie fever
Shit your
pants
You can
Do the hustle with seven-footer Billy Russell
Do the
fucking hustle, jerking your love muscle
Shake your big, round ass with the
ghost of Mama Cass
Blast from the past, the ghost of Mama Cass
Dry-hump
the floor with Mary Tyler-Moore
Pump it sore
Squeeze your nipple like
baldy Mr. Whipple
Drink some Ripple
Give it a hearty whack with TV great
Victor Tayback
When you give it a whack, don't hurt the nut-sack
So if
the thought of grooving is bringing you down
Come to the funkiest place in
town
The stars will show you how to move
And dance
Like you just shit
your pants