Mashed Potato Girl Intro Lyrics

Mashed Potato Girl Intro lyrics

Another day, another dollar 

 Your nigga's home 

 Don't make me holler 

 Is anybody home? 

 Hmm, I guess not 

 Let's see what's on the hellavision 

 

 

 U like the food here? 

 (Yeah) 

 Good, huh? 

 (It's alright) 

 Try the canolli, it's fabulous 

 (I'm kinda full, alright) 

 Mmm 

 U gonna eat that meatball there? 

 U, U just gonna let it... 

 Maybe girl made some food out here 

 Here, give it 2 me 

 U're not gonna eat it 

 (At least not now) 

 Mmm, let's see what I can get up here 2 grease on 

 Mmm, yeah 

 Best meatball in the city 

 What are U doin' there? 

 Hmm, this might work 

 (Give it 2 me, I'll eat it) 

 Lemme see, mmm 

 So tell me, U like broads? 

 (They're alright, I...) 

 Yep 

 Boy, have I got a broad story 4 U 

 Yeah, some corn, yeah 

 (Jesus) 

 Let's see, uh 

 I'm on a date with this broad, right? 

 Lets' see, stove top directions, uh 

 I bring her here 

 (Here?) 

 Yeah, right here 

 I thought I'd put some food in her belly 

 Empty contents into small sauce pan, hmm 

 U know, get a little curve in her slope 

 U know what I'm sayin? 

 (Slope?) 

 Right... 

 Now let me go see if I can find one of these muthafuckers, hmm 

 (Oh, gosh) 

 So I'm like "Go ahead toots, order what U like, it's on me" 

 Make her think I'm a big shot, U know 

 I said "So order, order somethin' 4 me 2 

 I'm gonna run 2 the little boys room 

 Hmm, shit, that definitely ain't no sauce pan 

 I gotta burp the baby 

 Mmm, that ain't no sauce pan 

 U know what I'm sayin'?" 

 I figured she'd order me somethin' light 

 Let me see if I can find this shit 

 Like a couple of salads or somethin' 

 Boy, was that a mistake 

 (Why?) 

 I comes back from the bathroom 

 Alright, got it, got it 

 I'm sittin' there 

 Ah, that's cool 

 Waitin' 4 the food 

 Now, if I can just get this corn open 

 This broad ordered the whole left side of the menu! 

 OK, let's see 

 Said she just wanted 2 nibble 

 Where's the damn can opener? Shit! 

 Nibble my ass 

 I'll open this muthafucker 

 I'm hungry! 

 This broad ate every fuckin' thing except the silverware 

 Shit ain't openin' 

 (Come on) 

 I kid U not 

 {phone rings} 

 Shit's gonna open now 

 I mean, she was a little on the thick side 2 begin with 

 Alright, I got it, mmm hmm 

 U know what I mean? 

 But I figured she'd have the decency 2 pig out when she got home 

 Talk 

 (Hey brother, what's up?) 

 Not here, right? 

 (Right) 

 I mean U, U ever had a broad do that? 

 Ain't nothin' but a wang 

 (No, not really) 

 Fuckin' pisses U off, am I right? 

 My girl's gone somewhere 

 Right, so I reaches over 

 I... I'm just cookin' 

 I took the fuckin' mashed potatoes and I threw 'em all over that broad 

 Hey, hey, what's this? 

 (Now wait a minute) 

 That ain't all though, check this out 

 Hmm, let me call U back 

 (What?) 

 The waiter sees what just happened 

 What the... 

 He's gonna be Mr. Macho, right 

 He comes over and says 

 "What U do that 4?" 

 "I'm sick of the changes U put me through?" 

 (And U said?) 

 I said "What the fuck business is it of yours? 

 I'm payin' 4 these fuckin' potatoes 

 "All U think about is music?" 

 I'll do what the fuck I wanna do with'em! 

 Now bring me a fuckin' finger bowl!" 

 "I'm leavin' your NBA no ballin' ass?" 

 (What happened?) 

 What happened? 

 I'll tell U what happened 

 Ain't that a bitch? 

 Here, gimme some of that meatball 

 (Hey, hey, I was gonna eat that) 

 This punk waiter, he think he's the hero type, right 

 Punk 

 He throws the finger bowl on my head 

 I kid U not 

 I'm sittin' there, head soakin' wet 

 Mashed potatoes in my finger nails 

 And this broad's crackin' up 

 (Ha ha ha ha) 

 I kid U not 

 She's rollin' on the carpet, people... 

 Gimme some water there 

 (Hey, hey, get...) 

 People leavin' the restaurant 

 She's laughin' so hard potatoes are flyin' off her head 

 (U got mad?) 

 Damn right I was mad! 

 I said, "Very funny" 

 (Well, it is kinda funny) 

 And I left her fuckin' ass right there 

 Rollin' in those fuckin' mashed potatoes 

 And I left this joint with out payin' a dime 

 (Well, what are U eatin' here now 4 I mean?) 

 That's the killer! 

 I was so mad I bought this joint 

 (But the girl...) 

 Fuckin' right 

 (What happened 2 her, man?) 

 That's her over there, workin' the fuckin' cash register 

 (Naw, her?) 

 U gonna eat this? 

 (That's the mashed potato girl?) 

 Here, gimme this bread 

 (She's, she's great, what do U mean?) 

 Is this the best bread in the city or what? 

 What the fuck's your problem? 

 (Look at her, she's, she's gorgeous) 

 U eat like a fuckin' parakeet 

 (What...) 

 I'm still hungry 

 U hungry? 

 (Naw, naw) 

 Naw, U not hungry 

 U want some bird seed or somethin'? 

 Look here, order me somethin'! 

 (Man, shut up now) 

 I'm gonna run 2 the little boys room