Wet Dream Lyrics
Wet Dream by Kip Adadda
It was the 41st of April, being a quadruple
leap year. I was driving through downtown Atlantis. My Barracuda was in
the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was overheating. I pulled
off into a Shell station. They said I'd blown a seal. I said, "Fix the
damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?"
While they
were doing that I walked over to a place called "The Oyster Bar" -- a real
dive. But I knew the owner -- he used to play for the Dolphins. I said
"Hi, Gil!" You have to yell, he's hard of herring. Gil was also down on his
luck. Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water.
I bellied
up to the sandbar. He poured me the usual -- Rusty snail, hold the grunnion,
shaken, not stirred. With a peanut-butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
-- heavy on the mako. I slipped him a fin - on porpoise. I was feelin'
good. I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids. For the
halibut.
Well, the place was crowded. We were packed in like
sardines. They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy
Dorsal. What sole. Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna,
Salmon-chanted evening, And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
-- Probably there to see the bass player. One of them was this cute little
yellowtail, and she was giving me the eye. So I figured this was my chance
for a little fun. You know, piece of pisces. But she said things I just
couldn't fathom. She was too deep. Seemed to be under a lot of
pressure. Boy, could she drink. She drank like a- She drank a lot.
I
said "What's your sign?" She said, "Aquarium." I said, "Great! Let's get
tanked!" I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait. I said,
"C'mon, baby, it'll only take a few minnows." She threw me that same old
line, "Not tonight. I've got a haddock."
And she wasn't kidding either,
cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the
pike. He was covered with mussels. He came over to me, he said "Listen,
shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here." What a crab. This guy was
steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him, I said
"A-balone. You're just bein' shellfish."
Well, I knew there was going to
be trouble, and so did Gil, cause he was already on the phone to the
cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left
hook. He eels over. It was a fluke, but there he was, lyin' on the deck,
flat as a mackerel. Kelpless. I said, "Forget the cods, Gil, this guy's
gonna need a sturgeon."
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way
I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me, she said "Hey, big boy, you're
really a game fish. What's your name?" I said, "Marlin."
Well, from
then on, we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner. I took her to
dance. I bought her a bouquet of flounders. And then I went home with
her. And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams.
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