Kathy Mar Smear Of Red Lyrics

Smear Of Red Lyrics

I grew up in a ghetto



That was only one house wide



With smiling suburbs all around



And poverty inside



The oldest of an army



That the church was proud to claim



And on the brink of womanhood



I almost lost my name



And I was







Chorus: Quivering in my fever-life



	Wishing that I was dead



	Suddenly realizing they were



	Talking over my head



	Learning to speak their double-talk



	Facing each day with dread



	Waiting waiting waiting waiting



	Waiting for that first smear of red











For God was my delirium and sisterhood my goal



But my church began to wonder



If the commies had a soul



And the day I saw a bishop



With an M-1 in his hand



Was the last day of my life



Beneath hypocrisy?s command



But I was..







(chorus)







My wishes all said "Woman"



But my body answered "Child"



My life was just a little odd



My outlook warped and wild



I told my inhibitions



They would fall away someday



The ghosts of them still haunt me



And I cannot run away



But I was--



(chorus)







I've had my turn as maiden, a longer one than most



And I have been a mother



For two girls, one boy, one ghost



I'm looking toward my future



And my chance to be the crone



But although my life is crowded 



I am doing this alone



And now I'm







Last chorus:



Quviering in my fever-life



Wishing that time was dead



Suddenly realizing that I'm



Talking over your head



Throwing away the double-talk



Hanging on by a thread



Waiting waiting waiting waiting



Waiting for that last smear of red



















Words and music:Kathy Mar







Copyright 2002 Kathy Mar