If Lyrics

If lyrics

"If"

in order, for one to metamorphasize, from one's inner self being
projected out into
the astral plane and to rematerialize into an inanamite
object or another living
organism for that matter is entirely and absolutely
impossible, however

if i was your tv i'd be like, look at me
if i was
shooting star i be like shooooom (peace)
if i was a fat bitches thong i'd be
like hell nah
if i was a hotties thong i'd be like ahh
if i was a cuss
word i'd just be like, fuck
if i was a rock on the moon i'd be chillin like
sup
if i was a butthole i'd just be an exit
if i was the DOC i'd be like
"man this is bull shit"
if i was your tires on your car i'd be like (car
noises)
if i was the bumper on your car i'd be like ahh fuck
if i was a
balloon i'd be like (balloon losing air)
if i was Alyssia Milano i'd be
fucking Joe Bruce
if i was a radio DJ i'd probably say, point 103
if i
was a richie ass bitch i'd be like, um ok
if i was spin magazine i'd put a
mirror on the cover and be like
fuck us and all our readers, even this
mother fucker
if i was your mental stress i'd be catching up
if i was
your headaches every now and then I'd be like thuuummmp
if i was your tounge
i'd be hatin' your teeth i'd be like
ah why do you try to bite me every time
we eat?
if i was a chair i'd be like sit here
and if i was kid rock i'd
cut my feathered wolf hair
if i was your muffler i'd be like shhh
quietly
if i was a price tag i'd be like you ain't buyin me
if i was a
fresh DJ i'd be like (scratching record)
if i was jam master jay i'd be
like(scratching record)
if i was a cheap clock radio i'd be like (radio
static)
if i was barry white i'd be like what up ya'll
if i was a nipple
in the cold i'd be like (spring noise)
if i was your dead uncle i'd be
like
if i was a rain drop i'd just be like (rain drop)
and i had an axe
and your neck i might say Chop

[Chorus]
If i was if i was but i'll
never be
(if i was if i was but i'll never be)
If i was if i was but i'll
never be
(if i was if i was but i'll never be)
If i was if i was boy your
killing me
(if i was if i was boy your killing me)
If i was if i was but
i'll never be
(If i was if i was but i'll never be)

If i was a faygo
at one of our shows
i'd fly through the air into an ocean of juggalo's
if
i was Andre the giant this is how i would be manly
if i was father mc i'd be
like yeah what happened
if i was a mirror i'd find another mirror
and
look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
if i was a slider i'd slid
out your but, i'd be floating in the toilet
looking at you like what?
if
i was a pilot i'd be like air traffic control
if i was john denver i'd be
like ahhhh
if i was a switch i'd be like flip me yoohoo
if i was a london
cop car i'd be like (siren)
if i was chewbacca i'd get me a fresh ass
?face?
if i was vanilla ice i'd be like fuck yall i'm still paid
if i was
a stop sign i'd just be like stop
if i was your wooden leg i'd still be
giving you the hip hop

[Chorus 2x]