Ian Dury And The Blockheads Billericay Dickie Lyrics

Billericay Dickie Lyrics

(spoken)
good evening i'm from essex
in case you couldn't tell
my given
name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
and I'm doing very well

had a
love affair with Nina
in the back of my Cortina
a seasoned up hyena could
not have been more obscener
she took me to the cleaners
and other
misdemeanours
but I got right up between her
rum and her
Ribena

well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
if candy-floss is sticky
I'm
not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and i'm doing very
well

I bought a lot of brandy
when I was courting Sandy
took eight
to make her randy
and all I had was shandy
another thing with Sandy

what often came in handy
was passing her a 'Mandy'
she didn't half go
bandy

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
if I ever took the mickey
I'm not
a flipping thicky
I'm billeicay dickie
and I'm doing very well

I'd
rondez-vouez with Janet
quite near the Isle of Thanet
she looked more like
a gannet
she wasn't half a prannet
her mother tried to ban it
her
father helped me plan it
and when I captured Janet she bruised her
pomegranet

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
if i ever shaped up
tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing
very well

you should never hold a candle if you don't know where it's
been
the jackpot is in the handle on a normal fruit machine

so you
ask Joyce and Vicki
who's their brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm
Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well

I know a lovely old toe-rag
 obliging and noblesse  
kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness

my
given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never
guess

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
a pair of squeaky chickies
I'm
not a flaming thicky I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well

oh
golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch
with a nice bit of posh from
Burnham-on-Crouch

my given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
and
I ain't a sloutch

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
about Billericay
Dickie
I ain't an effin' thicky
you ask Joyce and Vicki  
and I'm
doing very well