If You Ever Lyrics

If You Ever lyrics

If you ever go to school

 Then you'll know that it's a fool

 Who believes a teachers pet

 Is a pupil like yourself

 For if I remember well

 My old teachers was a belt

 Which he kept around his shoulder blade

 There for the mistakes we made

 

 Have you ever been to sea

 And been told reluctantly

 That if you have one more drink

 We're all liable to sink

 If you have all I can say

 Is have a happy holiday

 And don't come back without a tan

 Especially from a far off land

 

 Funny old world this

 Or haven't you noticed

 Everything's glued on

 Nothing is screwed on

 One day we will come unstuck

 But until then we're in luck

 

 If you ever feel the need

 To go out and plant a seed

 Then by all means go ahead

 I won't stop you but instead

 I will tell you where to go

 And the seeds that you can grow

 And by way of payment back I think

 You could buy us all a drink

 

 Funny old world this

 Or haven't you noticed

 Nothing is certain

 Gone for a burton

 Something must be done they say

 But for the moment it can wait.