Eric Schwartz Aisle B Lyrics

Aisle B Lyrics

My girlfriend got sick

And she needed a few things

But she couldn’t
get out of her bed

So she wrote me a list

She sent me to the
drugstore

I went up to the sales girl and said

"Tell me...where are
the tampons and

Tell me, how to heal canker sores

Sell me what you
take with a cramp on

'cause if she don’t stop whining

She won’t
need no tampons no more...”

She said

“Aisle b

That’s where
you’ll find them

Aisle b

Near the feminine sprays”

Aisle
b

Where they'd carefully aligned them

To make damn well sure

I'd be shopping for tampons for days...

So I picked up a basket, and
went down and found her

Anything she could squirt or insert or inject

And when I was done

I brought them up to the counter

Where each
item I bought was price-checked

Hair pluckers, zit suckers, unstuckers
for stomach unease

Inner incense for a scent like a warm country
breeze...

I later discovered the whole thing was a setup

They taped
me from beginning to end

I shoulda known better,

This chick hasn't
let up since she found out I did her best friend

I packed up my
things

With my ego eroded

I went back to live with my mom

If
you don’t believe me

The mpeg’s uploaded at "Guys Buying Tampons dot
com"

Aisle b the dreams aren't stopping

Aisle b, never again

Aisle b, girls, do your own shopping

Unless you are trying to make a
mess of your men....