Elvis Costello The Night Before Larry Was Stretched Lyrics

The Night Before Larry Was Stretched Lyrics

The Night Before Larry Was Stretched
Oh, the night before Larry was stretched 
Well the boys they all paid him a visit 
A bit in their sacks too they fetched 
For they sweated their duds till they ris` it 
For Larry was always the lad 
When a boy was condemned to the Squeezer 
Would fence all the duds that he had 
For to help his poor friend to a sneezer-- 
-- And warm his ol` gob `fore he died 

Well the boys they came crowding in fast 
And they threw all their stools `round about him 
Six glims round his trap-case was placed 
For he couldn`t be well-waked without them 

When one of them asked, "Could he die 
Without having duly repented?" 
Said Larry, "That`s all in me eye 
And first by the clergy invented-- 
--For to get a fat bit for themselves" 

"Oh and I`ll be cut up like a pie: 
And me nob from me body be parted. 
You`re in the wrong box, then, says I, 
For blast me if they`re so hard-hearted 

"A chalk on the back of your neck 
Is all that Jack Catch dares to give you 
Then mind not such trifle`s affect 
Oh why should the likes of them grieve you?-- 
--And now boys, come tip us the deck." 

Well the cards being called for they played 
Until Larry found one of them cheated 
A point in his napper was made
For the boy he`d been easily heated 

"Oh, hold me the hokey, you thief! 
I`ll scuttle your knob with me dodle! 
You cheat me because I`m in grief 
Ah, but soon I`ll demolish your noddle-- 
--And leave you your claret to drink" 

Then the clergy came in with his book 
And he spoke him so smooth and so civil 
Larry tipped him kill-sour look 
And he pitched his big wig to the devil 

Then sighing he threw back his head 
For to get a sweet drop of the bottle 
And dutiful sighing he said, 
"Oh the hempt `twill be soon `round me throttle-- 
--And choke me poor windpipe to death. 

"Oh then sure it`s the best way to die 
Oh the dead are no better the living 
For now when the gallows is high
Our journey is shorter to heaven." 

But what harasses Larry the most 
And makes his soul poor melancholy 
Is he thinks of the time when his ghost 
It will come in a sheet to Sweet Molly-- 
--"Oh sure, it`ll kill her alive" 

So moving, these last words he spoke 
We all vented our tears in a shower 
For me own part I thought me heart broke 
For to see him cut down like a flower 

On his travels we watched him next day 
The throttler I thought I could kill him 
But Larry not one word did say 
Nor change did he come to King William-- 
--And then did his color grow white. 

When he came to the old Dublin Chit 
He was tucked up so neat and so pretty 
The rumbler jugged off from his feet 
And he died with his face to the city 

He kicked too, but that was all pride 
For soon you might see `twas all over 
Soon after the noose was untied 
In darkness we waked him in clover-- 
--And sent him to take his ground sweat 

Oh, the night before Larry was stretched 
Well the boys they all paid him a visit 
A bit in their sacks too they fetched 
For they sweated their duds till they ris` it 

For Larry was always the lad 
When a boy was condemned to the Squeezer 
Would fence all the duds that he had 
For to help his poor friend to a sneezer-- 
--And warm his ol` gob `fore he died 
--And warm his ol` gob `fore he died