Drunk With Dignity Lyrics

Drunk With Dignity lyrics

When you've had too much to drink
there's certain things to keep in
mind.
Like when you find your hand and underarms are bleeding
your beer
bottle might not have a twist off cap
and don't ever go home with a woman
they call Moose
or Vince
And never bet that you can fit your head inside
a glove compartment

Get drunk with dignity
Keep in mind that just
because a bulldog licks your face
its not necessary to lick him back
Stay
away from drinks with names like
brain seizure or hippo laxative
Get drunk
with dignity

If a bar has human ears nailed ot the walls
don't pass
out there
and if your homemade jello has some goldfish in it
you used the
wrong bowl
And there are phrases you must learn to avoid
phrases
like
"that badge looks stupid"
and
"I can prove these
shoes are fireproof"

Get drunk with dignity
try not to drool on
bikers
Don't moon a nun
unless you got a real good reason
dont get
romantically involved with farm machinery
Get drunk with dignity.