Crawling Home Puker Lyrics

Crawling Home Puker lyrics

1. I SLOWLY OPEN UP ONE EYE 

FEEL A POUNDING IN MY HEAD 

MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE I ATE MY SOCKS 

LORD I THINK I MUST BE DEAD 

THERE'S SOMETHING LYING NEXT TO ME 

ITS GOT A HAIRY UGLY FACE 

I SAW HER IN A MOVIE ONCE 

THE THING FROM OUTER SPACE 

2.  I SEE LITTLE CREEPY CRAWLERS 

IN THE CORNERS OF MY EYE 

WHEN I TRY TO LOOK AT THEM 

THEY FLAP THEIR LITTLE WINGS AND FLY 

I REACH OUT FOR THE NEAREST BEER 

IT TASTES AS WARM AS PEE 

IT'S FULL OF SOGGY OLD CIGGY BUTTS 

BUT I ONLY SWALLOWED THREE 



CHORUS: 

IT WAS A CRAWLING HOME PUKER 

THAT MADE ME THIS WAY 

A CRAWLING HOME PUKER 

NOW I'VE GOTTA PAY 

I AIN’T NO QUITTER 

I’LL PARTY TILL THE END 

BUT IF I LIVE THROUGH THIS ONE 

I’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN 



3.I FALL DOWN UPON MY KNEES 

PUT MY ARMS AROUND THE STOOL 

I WHISPER TO MY TOILET BOWL 

THANKS FOR BEING SO COOL 

MY STOMACH FEELS LIKE JELLO 

MY BRAINS HAVE TURNED TO MUSH 

MY TOILET'S OVER FLOWING 

I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO FLUSH 



4. I GOT CRUSTIES ON MY EYEBALLS 

AND MY TEETH ARE GROWING HAIR 

AND I SMELL JUST LIKE A BEAGLE 

WHEN HE'S PASSING STINKY AIR 

I FEEL LIKE DEATH WARMED OVER 

AND I THINK I'VE GOT THE RUNS 

THEN SOMEONE CRACKS A BEER AND SAYS 

HEY, HAVE A BEER YOU OLD SON OF A GUN 



(REPEAT CHORUS)