Cw Mccall Milton Lyrics

Milton Lyrics

Now, I'll tell ya a tale that'll bust yer heart 
That only a few people knew, ta start 
It all took place when our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? 
I'll guarantee ev'ry word's the Gospel truth 
Got witnesses ta prove it, too, 
'Cause we all toured with a fella by the name a' Milton  
 
Now Milton was o-fficial tour director, 
Electrical piano-playin' plug connector 
An' the slave-drivin'-est travel conductor 
That we ever seen in our lives 
He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need more rest? 
"The world don't care whether ya look yer best! 
"Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with your instruments ...and your wives!" 

 
[Choir; in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] 
Shall we gather at the airport?  
 
He'd always arrive in the nick a' time 
A good five minutes ahead a' flight time 
A-lookin' like he'd been drug through a needle's eye 
He'd stand there, stoned and about ta choke 
On his Egg McMuffin an' his giant Coke 
An' then he'd throw all the tickets on the counter and say 
"Check the bags and let's fly!" 
"Well, whaddya mean, this is too much weight? 
"We only got forty-six pieces a' freight! 
"And if it don't go, who's gonna explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"  
 
We'd all get embarassed an' head for the plane 
While Milton stood there, bein' profane 
But somehow he always managed ta get on board ...in sort of a coma  
 
[Choir] 
When the drinks were served up yonder...  
 
Well, we deplaned at th' other end 
All the trouble seemed to commence again 
Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a pickup truck and a limo 
And though he'd phoned ahead to that Number Two 
Cussin' an' fussin' an' turnin' blue 
We'd always end up with two Datsoons and a Pinto  
 
Now Milton took all a' that stuff in stride 
Laid on the floor, an' kicked an' cried 
But we always looked up to him for hope and salvation 
But we'd sink to the bottom a' trav'lers hell 
When he'd check us in a remote motel 
And he'd grab the clerk by his shirt an' tie an' say 
"Whaddya mean, ¿no reservaci¨®nes?"  
 
[Choir] 
Milton's getting bolder...  
 
He'd shut himself in room one-oh-four 
Let nobody in 'til he swept the floor 
Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, fixed the faucet, called the promoter 
"Well, whaddya mean we're the warmup show? 
"You're puttin' me on! We're stars, ya know! 
"And this ain't the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! 
"Now we gotta have a hunnert percent top billing, 
"Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! 
"I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two air-conditioned dressing
rooms, please. 
"I'm what? Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to each his own. 
"Beg pardon, stick it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"  
 
[Choir] 
William Morris, keep us working...  
 
Now, Milton was a real good friend a' mine 
An' we'd stuck together on down that line 
But there was one or two points over which we just had to dee-bate 
Like
takin'-your-clothes-off-an'-hangin'-from-a-cross-in-front-a'-the-Tri-County-Fairgrounds

Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin'
tomatas 
An' when ya arrive at four for a five o'clock show 
An' the stage ain't built an' there's no electricity 
About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut bait 
However, you give ol' Milton four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and
a cigarette 
An' you just knew that show was gonna be ...outta state  
 
[Choir] 
Bringing in the bread 
Bringing in the bread...  
 
Now one night up there in Washington 
We didn't get paid for a show we'd done 
An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live with that; his brain just shorted out. 
Well, he locked himself in the bathroom 
An' then when he didn't come out for an hour an' a half 
We figgered that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt 
We stood transfixed in shock and horror 
When we busted down that there bathroom door 
And I hope I never see a sight like that again; no, I don't 
There was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize 
With a silent five-part acapella hymn, for him  
 
[Choir] 
What a friend we had in Milton...  
 
Now we're gettin' ready, come next December 
To put another concert tour together 
And I'm sad to say ol' Milton ain't a-gonna be with us 
No, it ain't gonna be exactly the same 
When they introduce us without his name 
So Milton, wherever you are, we hope you miss us! 
See, Milton has moved on down the road 
Over the rainbow, lookin' for gold 
Yeah, he's up there where the stage lights is always on 
But we can't forget that curly hair 
When last we saw him a-settin' there 
Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' sound asleep on the john