Chaz N` Dave The Sideboard Song Lyrics

The Sideboard Song Lyrics

Mother phoned up last night she was going spare

She was in a temper pulling out her hair

"Your sisters brought in this scruffy looking head

Father dont give a monkeys this is what he said"



(Chorus)

I dont care I dont care I dont care if he comes round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out 

if he comes round here



I said to me mother let me have a talk to dad

so he comes to the telephone he wasnt half mad

says "shes got no sense the silly little cow

and if he comes round here theres gonna be a row"



Repeat chorus



"I'll tell you something else an' all he's never got a job

he hangs around the betting shop the lazy little yob"

mother says "calm down dad hes alright

there out there snogging in the passage all night"



Repeat chorus



Biggy was a tramp with stubble on his chin

he looks like something that the cats brought in

never got no money smokes all my fags

got holes in his soles and his hanging in rags



On top of that he says i tell you why i got the hump

she had a skinny little belly now its sticking out the front

theres nothing seems to fit her shes a running out of clothes

if he thinks he takes a liberties i'll punch him on the nose



Chorus



piano solo



twin vocal chorus



chorus repeat to fade