Cats Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer Lyrics

Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer Lyrics

Suddenly there is a thunderous crash, followed by the sound 

                  of police sirens and flashing red lights. The villainous cat


                  Macavity is on the loose! The cats scatter, leaving an empty


                  stage. 

                  Two off-stage giggles signal the entrance of Mungojerrie and


                  Rumpleteazer, a fun-loving, frolicking team of pranksters,


                  always getting in trouble with the family with whom they
live. 

 

                  SOLO: 

                  The greatest magicians have something to learn 

                  From Mr. Mistoffolees conjuring turn 

                    

                  Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats


                  As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians 

                  Tight-rope walkers and acrobats 

                    

                  They had an extensive reputation 

                  Made their home in Victoria Grove 

                  That was merely their center of operation 

                  For they were incurable given to rove 

                    

                  If the area window was found ajar 

                  And the basement looked like a field of war 

                  If a tile or two came loose on the roof 

                  Which presently ceased to be waterproof 

                    

                  If the drawers were pulled out from bedroom chests 

                  And you couldn't find one of your winter vests 

                  Or after supper one of the girls 

                  Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls 

                  Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! 

                    

                  It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" 

                  And most of the time they left it at that 

                    

                  Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of gab 

                  They were highly efficient cat burglars 

                  As well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab 

                    

                  They made their home in Victoria Grove 

                  They had no regular occupation 

                  They were plausible fellows who liked to engage 

                  A friendly policeman in conversation 

                    

                  When the family assembled for Sunday dinner 

                  Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner on 

                  Argentine joint, potatoes and greens 

                  Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes 

                    

                  And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow 

                  "I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow 

                  The joint has gone from the oven like that!" 

                  Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! 

                    

                  It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" 

                  And most of the time they left it at that 

                    

                  Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way 

                  Of working together 

                  And some of the time you would say it was luck 

                  And some of the time you would say it was weather 

                    

                  They'd go through the house like a hurricane 

                  And no sober person could take his oath 

                  Was it Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer? 

                  Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both? 

                    

                  When you heard a dining room smash 

                  Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash 

                  Or down from the library came a loud ping 

                  From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming 

                  Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat? 

                    

                  It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer 

                  And there's nothing at all to be done about that!" 

                    

                  ALL: 

                  Macavity!