The Nervous Wreck Of Edna Fitzgerald Lyrics

The Nervous Wreck Of Edna Fitzgerald lyrics

We sailed away from Huntington Bay  
and the waters were calm as could be-oh  
On our new cabin cruiser, the first time we used her  
`twas just the family and me-oh  
And my husband stood proud in his new captain`s hat  
using words like ahoy there and- crap like that  
So we took the kid and Cleo our cat  
and set outt o conquer the sea-oh  
Everyone loved it but Clee-oh  
 
And it`s yo ho over the seas  
The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze  
Pass me a bottle of Perrier please  
This is the life for me  
 
The tranquility three miles out to sea  
suddenly came to an end-oh  
when the kid started saying "No way am I staying  
I`d rather be playing Nintendo-oh"  
And the captain cried "Ho there, you little snot,  
I paid fifty grand for this family yacht  
You`re going to enjoy yourself, like it or not  
so you`d better learn how to pretend-oh"  
(We all caught the man`s innuendo-oh)  
 
And it`s yo ho over the seas  
The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze  
Pass me a bottle of Dramamine please  
This is the life for me  
 
My husband the captain was checking the charts  
while the cruiser was burning up fu-el  
And the kid threw the cat in, trolling for sharks  
he called it a project for school-el  
I reached down to pull the cat in by the tail  
when I smelled what I held my complexion went pale  
That`s when I lost my lunch over the rail  
The kid thought the whole thing was coo-el  
Mama was not feeling too-well  
 
And it`s yo ho over the seas  
The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze  
Pass me a bottle of Valium please  
Is this the life for me?  
 
We ran out of fuel by mid-afternoon  
and the clouds were moving in fast-er  
And the captain did say, "There`s no more Perrier"  
which made it a total disast-er.  
With hardly a warning it started to pour  
and we drifted `til we reached the New Jersey shore  
(never thought I`d be glad to see Jersey before)  
We started drifting in fast-er,  
tried to steer the ship, but we crashed her  
 
No more yo ho over the seas  
The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze  
Pass me a bottle of cyanide please  
This is no life for me.  
 
I`m back in my condo, the cruiser`s a wreck  
My husband is spending the insurance check  
On something for dry land or I`ll break his neck  
`Cause this is the life for me  
Yo ho