Burnett T-bone The Strange Case Of Frank Cash And The Morning Pap Lyrics

The Strange Case Of Frank Cash And The Morning Pap Lyrics

it was late september two years ago

 frank cash was down on his luck

 he'd made a killing at churchill downs

 and that left him somewhat thunderstruck

 

 so he rented a place down on lonely street

 he was looking for somewhere to hide

 the paper showed up at the door every day

 and he'd go through the classifieds

 

 then one morning he turned to the sports page

 and he noticed that something was strange

 the race results were from the day before

 but the football scores were from next week's games

 frank felt a scared and a little deranged

 but a switch board lit up in his brain

 

 that sunday he watched in amazement

 as the scores flashed by on his tv set

 monday morning he ran for the paper

 and made it to the phone and began placing bets

 he put ten thousand that night on the jets

 ten grand he didn't have on the jets

 

 it happened like that the whole season

 he couldn't even count all the money he'd made

 he started buying italian women and shoes

 which he kept on a sprawling estate on the lake

 and by that i don't mean by the lake

 i mean ON the lake

 

 he waited all summer for the football to start

 the maiden brought him the paper every day

 but all he could find was yesterday's scores

 the damned paper had ceased to prognosticate

 then a look of horror crossed his face

 it finally dawned on him but too late

 

 his rolls hit the pavement at a hundred and twenty

 heading for lonely street

 he rang the bell and a john walker answered

 frank pressed his luck against the door screen

 

 frank asked if he still got the paper

 john walker said "what do you care?"

 frank answered "i need to see the sports section

 just for a minute" and john walker stared

 

 frank tried to push through the doorway

 john pulled a real forty-five

 the dogs were all barking as the rolls pulled away

 john walker was no longer alive

 

 the judge looks down through his bifocals

 the peers of the jury squirm in their seats

 the courtroom is silent except for his footsteps

 frank cash is about to speak

 

 and frank says:

 

 your honour and ladies and gentlemen of the jury

 all this has been happening to me because of this guy

 named t bone burnett.  he's been making all this up

 and i just want to say i don't believe in him

 in fact i don't even think he exists and not only that

 BUT THIS SONG IS OVER

 

 frank got a suspended sentence

 the jury ruled it was self defense

 they ignored his statement

 on the grounds it didn't make any sense

 

 frank cash had a pretty good year

 considering the dizzy chain of events

 that paper was never delivered again

 but i gave him back all the money he'd spent

 

 and he married a woman with a lot of soul

 and his first son will become president

 if you see him tall him i said "hello"

 and that i'm happy to be able to call him my friend

 

 [t bone burnett / tonio k]

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