Bette Midler Concert Monologue Lyrics

Concert Monologue Lyrics

You know, you know sometimes, sometimes people say to me, "Rose, when's the
first time you ever heard the blues?" And u know what i tell 'em? "The day i
was born." You know why? You know why? 'Coz i was born a woman.

Ah! Oh!
We got some noisy females in the house tonight! I do like to hear that
high-pitched sound, you know I do.

Oh, being a woman is so interesting
don't you find it?

What are we ladies, what are we? We are waitresses at
the banquet of life! Get into that kitchen and rattle them pots and pans... and
you better look pretty god-damned good doing it too or else you gonna lose your
good thang!

Oh! And why do we dot that, why do we do that? I tell you why
we do that, we do that to find looove.

Oh, i love to be in love, don't you
love to be in love? Ain't it just great to be in love?

Oh, ain't it
wonderful? Isn't it wonderful to be in love? Ain't it just grand laying there
late at night in bed waiting for your man to show up? And when he finally does,
round about four o'clock in the morning with whiskey on his breath and the smell
of another woman on his person...

Oh, honey I can smell another woman at
five hundred paces! That's a easy one to catch! So what do you do when he comes
home with the smell of another woman on him?

Do you say, "Oh, honey, let
me open up my loving arms and my loving legs! Dive right in, baby, the water's
fine!" Is that what you say, girls?! Or do you say, "Pack your bags! I'm
putting on my little waitress cap and my fancy high heel shoes. I'm gonna go
find me a real man, a good man, a true man, a man to love me for sure."

You know I tell you something, I tell u something: I tohught... at one time i
actually thought i found myself one. I did, I thought I found myself one. When
he... When he...