Bernstein Leonard One Hundred Easy Ways To Lose A Man Lyrics

One Hundred Easy Ways To Lose A Man Lyrics

Betty Comden and Adolph Green
music by Leonard Bernstein

RUTH


NOW THE FIRST WAY TO LOSE A MAN --

YOUÆVE MET A CHARMING FELLOW AND YOUÆRE OUT FOR A SPIN.
THE MOTOR FAILS AND HE JUST WEARS A HELPLESS GRIN,
DONÆT BAT YOUR EYES AND SAY, ôWHAT A ROMANTIC SPOT WEÆRE IN.ö

Just get out, crawl under the car, tell him itÆs the gasket and fix it in two
seconds flat with a bobby pin.

THATÆS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE A MAN.

HE TAKES YOU TO A BASEBALL GAME,
YOU SIT KNEE TO KNEE.
HE SAYS, ôTHE NEXT MAN UP AT BAT WILL BUNT, YOUÆLL SEE.ö
DONÆT SAY, ôOOOH, WHATÆS A BUNT? THIS GAMEÆS TOO HARD FOR LITTLE ME.ö

Just say, ôBunt? Are you nuts?!! With no outs, two men on base, and a
left-handed batter coming up, youÆll walk right into a triple play just like it
happened in the fifth game of the World Series in 1923.ö

THATÆS A SURE WAY TO LOSE A MAN.

A SURE SURE SURE SURE WAY TO LOSE A MAN,
A SPLENDID WAY TO LOSE A MAN.

JUST THROW YOUR KNOWLEDGE IN HIS FACE,
HEÆLL NEVER TRY FOR SECOND BASE.
Ninety-eight ways to go.

THE THIRD WAY TO LOSE A MAN --
THE LIFE-GUARD AT THE BEACH THAT ALL THE GIRLIES ADORE
SWIMS BRAVELY OUT TO SAVE YOU THROUGH THE OCEANÆS ROAR,
DONÆT SAY, ôOH, THANKS, I WOULD HAVE DROWNED IN JUST ONE SECOND MORE.ö

Just push his head under water and yell, ôLast one in is a rotten eggö and race
him back to shore!

THATÆS A SWELL WAY TO LOSE A MAN.

YOUÆVE FOUND YOUR PERFECT MATE AND ITÆS BEEN LOVE FROM THE START.
HE WHISPERS, ôYOUÆRE THE ONE TO WHO I GIVE MY HEART.ö
DONÆT SAY, ôI LOVE YOU TOO, MY DEAR, LETÆS NEVER NEVER PART.ö

Just say, ôIÆm afraid youÆve made a grammatical error -- itÆs not æTo who I
give my heart,Æ it's æTo whom I give my heartÆ -- You see, with the use of the
preposition æto,Æ æwhoÆ becomes the indirect object, making the use of æwhomÆ
imperative which I can easily show you by drawing a simple chartö --

THATÆS A FINE WAY TO LOSE A MAN.

A FINE FINE FINE FINE WAY TO LOSE A MAN,
A DANDY WAY TO LOSE A MAN.

JUST BE MORE WELL-INFORMED THAN HE,
YOUÆLL NEVER HEAR ôO, PROMISE ME.ö

JUST SHOW HIM WHERE HIS GRAMMAR ERRS,
THEN MARK YOUR TOWELS ôHERSö AND ôHERS.ö

YES, GIRLS, YOU TOO CAN LOSE YOUR MAN,
IF YOU WILL USE RUTH SHERWOODÆS PLAN:
ONE HUNDRED EASY WAYS TO LOSE A MAN!