Apologetix Smooth Grandmama Lyrics

Smooth Grandmama Lyrics

As he came up to the window, heard the sound of, Barry Manilow

He came into her apartment, smelled the Ben Gay, and the chocolate

She was sitting at the table, he could see she, had a Bible

Then she ran into the bedroom, got her teeth down, and her perfume



Granny, are you OK, you OK, you OK, Granny? (4X)



Granny's not an old maid, She's a zealot, with a bold faith

She's a kind-hearted widow, and she bought you, a Nintendo, last week

You came into her apartment, left the mud stains, on the carpet

And then she ran into the bedroom, she was knelt down, it was for you

Granny likes to crochet, and croquet, and quote Dear Abby

Granny causes road rage, in slow lanes, she's no Andretti

Granny's got the whole day, to go pray, for all her family

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmamma



she came into the hallway, it was Sunday, had a snack made

Then the book of Revelation, was the topic, of conversation

Granny says you know babe, the Lord say, in verse 3:20

He's standing at the doorway, so don't waste, a moment honey

And you gotta go pray, or else babe, you won't gain entry

Then you told her OK, I want saved, I'll go pray Granny



Granny told you OK, first you tell Him, that you're sorry

Believe He died or your sins though

And accept, Him and repento -- Whammy!

He came into your heart then, you were prostrate, on the carpet

Then she ran you to the next room

You were sat down, there was more food

Granny karaokes, to old tapes, of Sandi Patty

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmama



(BRIDGE)



Granny had a roast made, and potatoes, that were homemade

And she buys Poppin' Fresh Dough

So she baked you, some crescent rolls, lets eat!

You came into her apartment, and the blessings, only started

And then your Granny took and fed you

You were stuffed now; it was her food

Granny brought you cold grapes, and poached eggs, and bowls of candy

Granny brought you milkshakes, and fruitcake, keep Rolaids handy

Granny's artichokes make, your throat gag, so don't take any

And before you go babe, you must take, a roast beef sandwich