The Alternative Polka Lyrics

The Alternative Polka

We all used to call him Jimmy the Geek
He was a dumb-lookin', scrawny, little
four-eyed freak
He never used to hang around with the guys
He'd just sit
in the corner, attractin' the flies
He wasn't much to look at
He never
was very bright
but at least there was one thing that he could do all
right
That boy could dance
He was kind of a jerk
He was kind of a
bore
but the women would scream when he walked in the door
'cause one
thing I could tell you for sure
That boy could dance
Picking teams, he
would always be last
He couldn't run very far,
He couldn't think very
fast
If he was on your side, you`d always lose
the guy had a problem,
even tying his shoes
He never passed his drivers test
He was always
afraid of cars
and he had a complexion that resembled the surface of
Mars
but that boy could dance
Well, his hair was a mess
and his
clothes didn't fit
He smelled pretty bad, and he drooled just a bit
but
you gotta admit
boy, that boy could dance
Now that boy is much
older
he's got his own dance studio
He's got a teeny bopper fan
club
yeah, he's got his own TV show
now he owns half of Montana
they
all call him "Diamond Jim"
and you know I'd do anything if I could
be just like him
'cause that boy could dance.