My Bologna Lyrics

My Bologna

I need a Vegematic!
I need a Pocket Fisherman!
I need a handy
appliance
That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its
shell!
(Operators are standing by.
How does that make you feel?)
Help
me.
Mr. Popiel!
I wanna shine some pennies!
I wanna mend some
leather!
I wanna Krazy-Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel
girder!
(Please, no C.O.D.'s.
Don't miss out on this deal.)
Ah, help
me.
Mr. Popiel!
Help me.
Mr. Popiel!
Mr. Popiel!
Mr.
Popiel!
(Wo-o, wo-o.  Ohhhhhh.)
It slices.  It dices.
Look at that
tomato!
You could even cut a tin can with it,
But you wouldn't want
to!
Mr. Popiel, I'm in trouble.
Need your assistance on the double.
Oh
no!  Now how am I gonna make
My old vinyl car top look like new?
Mr.
Popiel!
Tell me, what am I s'posed to do?
Mr. Popiel!
Mr.
Popiel!
(Now how much would you pay?)
But wait, there's more!
It's not
sold in any store!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Don't answer
yet,
Just look what else you get!
(Now how much would you pay?)
If you
order today,
You get a Ginsu knife and a smokeless Ashtray!
(Now how much
would you pay?)
Now how much would you pay?
Mr. Popiel, Mr.
Popiel.
Mr. Popiel, Mr. Popiel.
Mr. Popiel, Mr. Popiel.
Mr. Popiel,
Mr. Popiel.
Make me buy a Garden Weasel!
Make me buy a Bamboo
Steamer!
Make me take advantage
Of this amazing TV offer!
(Call our
toll-free number,
We'll make you such a deal.)
Aw, help me!
Mr.
Popiel.  I want it!
(Mr. Popiel.)  Well, I need it!
(Mr. Popiel.)  I got
to got to got to have it!
Mr. Popiel!
Mr. Popiel!
Hey!