I Can`t Watch This Lyrics

I Can`t Watch This

(James/Miller/Hammer/Al Yankovic)

 

 I can't watch this. I can't watch this

 I can't watch this. I can't watch this

 

 My my my my TV makes me so bored

 Makes me say oh my Lord

 What is this garbage here?

 Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears

 It sucks, and that's no lie

 It's about as much fun as watching paint dry

 Lowers my IQ one notch

 And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

 

 I told you homeboy...I can't watch this

 Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know

 I can't watch this

 Poke out my eyes, man...I can't watch this

 Yo, gimme that remote control...I can't watch this

 

 Talkin' bout sick shows

 There's America's Funniest Home Videos

 I can't believe my eyes

 When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize

 Somebody's poor old mom

 Falls down off the roof, lands right on  the lawn

 Face first on a rake

 I hear they got it on the seventeenth take

 That's funny as a kick in the crotch

 And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch

 

 Yo, I told you...I can't watch this

 Change the channel now, man...I can't watch this

 Yo, pass the TV Guide over here, sucker...I can't watch this

 

 Cosby show and Roseanne

 Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can

 Judge Wopner, oh my

 You gotta be Rainman to like this guy

 Thirtysomething's all right

 If you like hearing yuppies whining all night

 Can't stand Twin Peaks

 Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks

 Those Siskel and Ebert bums

 Oughtta go home and just sit on their thumbs

 

 That's word because you now...I can't watch this

 I can't watch this

 Break it down!

 

 Here's how to order-money back guarantee-

 Removes tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts-

 They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm beautiful-

 Could be dandruff-our prices are insaaaane!!!

 

 Stop! Prime time!

 I'm pretty sure I'll be sick

 If I have to watch another stupid pet trick

 Or that guy with the real flat hair

 That goes "woof woof woof" and waves

 His fist in the air

 Or those weird talk shows

 About transsexual Nazi Eskimos

 They're rude, and crude and vile

 Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

 

 Flip, flip, flip...yecch, I can't watch this

 Look, man, I can't watch this

 I can't take this torture no more, I can't

 I can't watch this

 Pay the bills, station break

 Break it down!

 

 Operators are standing by-cubic zirconium necklace-

 You're soaking in it-and our fabulous swimsuit issue-

 When you've got a headache this big-read the book-

 this is your brain on drugs-I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

 

 Stop! Cable time!

 HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV

 I might like them more after my lobotomy

 Now why did I ever pay for this junk?

 I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk

 Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A

 It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna

 Throw my set away

 

 I can't watch this, I can't watch this

 I can't watch this, yeah...I can't watch this

 I told you...can't watch this

 Too hip, can't watch this

 Get me outta here...can't watch this

 --------------------------------------------------------------