Freaky Tales Lyrics

Freaky Tales

These are the tales, the freaky tales...
The tales that I tell so
well...

I met this girl, her name was Joan
She loved the way I rocked
the microphone
When I met Joan, I took her home
She was just like a doggy
all on my bone
I met another girl, her name was Ann
All she wanted was to
freak with a man
When I met Ann, I soked her pans
We ended up freakin' by
garbage can
The next young freak I met was Red
I took her to the house
and she gave me head
She likes to freak was all she said
We jumped in the
sheets and we broke my bed
There's another girl, her name is Mary
Talked
about sex and the girl acted scary
I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy
Jerry
Took her to the house and I popped that cherry
Young and tender,
sweet Denise
Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast
I tell you,
homeboy, If you get a piece
She only talks about signin' a lease
I met
this tender, her name was Lori
And a X-rated movie wouldn't tell her
story
She had a twinsister, her name was Lisa
And just like Lori, she's a
real dick pleaser
My girlfriend's name was Michelle, I freaked her
well
Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell
I geed this girl, her name
was Tammy
I didn't wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy
She had a best
friend, her name was Jane
I pulled to the side and I spitted that game
I
met a lot of freaks in my lifespine
Freaked one night with a girl named
Pam
The very next day I saw her with her man
One week passed and I was in
her again
I had an old tender, her name was Janie
She was thirty-two and
I was only eighteen
She likes to freak, she's just a fiend
It really
didn't matter when I saw her in jeans
I wanna big freak, fat and slobby
I
kick on back and I watch her mouth
Two tons of fun, big mama jama
A
country-girl from Alabama
I met this girl, her name was Betty
Her pussy
got wet and it smelled like death
I was tired as hell, I was drippin'
sweat
But I was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath
Bake and shake us,
I met this freak in Vegas
She said her name was Donna
She was a pitty
little freak from China
I said I don't pimp or gigolo
I'm havin' so much
money that I don't need a hoe
You can break yourself but you can't break
me
You never met a player like $hort, baby
I knew a dick sucker named
Betty-Jo
Took her to my home and we did it on the floor
The girl got
freaky and I tell you more:
She was down on her knees beggin' to
blow
She's like another freak named Ren`
You get her alone and she'll
make your day
Like Burger King, she knows the play
But a freak like Ren`,
you can have it your way...

These are the tales, the freaky
tales...
These are the tales that I tell so well...

I met this girl,
thick as hell
Only sixteen, said her name was Linell
I took her to my
house, I could not wait
Her shit was much tighter than Central Safe
Let
me tell you this since we talkin' young
I met another girl, said her name
was Yvonne
Always talkin' about havin' fun
Once again in the bed I got it
goin' on
I'm Sir Too $hort, couldn't be no punk
I try to get funky like
female funk
So when you see me comin' or see me goin'
I keep my money,
let the hoes keep throwin'
I once met a tender, she did it for free
On
the Foothill bust number forty-three
All the way on the back she was workin'
me
Had my big beatbox and I was jammin' the beat
I met this freak named
aunt Winell
Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet
Everythin' she had is
what I get
Cause I'm Too $hort, baby, I don't play that shit
I met
another freak, her name was Rita
Baby thought that $hort just might eat
her
I told her like this, she can suck my peter
Or even go home cause I
knew I didn't need her
Scratched her name off my telephone book
Never
again I took a second look
Cause the next young freak, her name was
Sharon
She kept lookin', well, I kept stairin'
Her booty was stuffed in
the jeans she was wearin'
She never left, she cutted out
I know you all
know what I'm talkin' about
There's a freak named Shane, such a
sinner
She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner
Shane is cool but
her mind is gone
One fat rock and it's goin' on
She had another buddy,
came by my place
Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
She walked in
the door wearin' a lace
You shoulda seen that look that was on my
face
She's like this tender named Belinda
Homeboys call her Belinda the
Blender
She gave head like she made it up
She was twenty years old with a
big round butt
Had a girl slick like olive oil
Her father was rich and
the girl was spoiled
When she got mad he blood would boil
But I rapped
her off like I'm lookin' a toy...

These are the tales, the freaky
tales...
The tales that I tell so well...

Shockedy life, Friday
night, it's goin' on Too $hort
Three weeks ago I met this freak
She
followed me around like Mary's sheep
I hitted around the corner and when she
came
I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
She said it was Nina
and her man's in Santa Rita
I took her to my home and homeboy, I geed
her
Set her on the way the very next way
Playboy $hort was ready to
play
I bumped to this girl, her name was Roseanne
We hitted the motel and
got it goin' on
Holiday Inn to the break of dawn
When I took baby home, I
freaked her mom
I knew this tender named Shanie
I took her to the house
and let her freak on me
Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
But I wouldn't
raise my leg to let her kiss my feet
I met this freak named
Yolanda
Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda
I was on top and she was
up under
The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder
I once had a
datewith girl named Kitty
She was so fine with big fat tiddies
All night
long she was actin' shitty
So i macked on baby like I was Frank
Nitti
There's another girl, her name is Rose
I use to roll baby like
brand new Volvos
I never saw Rose wearin' clothes
She's a pimp house pet,
ready to pose
I was ridin' down the street when I met Janet
Her booty was
bigger than the whole damn planet
Ass everywhere, I just can't stand
it
Tried to poem it but I could not manage
I had this freak, her name was
Bunny
Said I was the only man who ever called her honey
Everythin' I did
to her was funny
I macked on bunny and I took her money
Eight tonight a
date with Shirlie
She was really short and her hair was curly
If you saw
baby you liked this girlie
She was so fine I went to get her
early
Shirlie was freakin' like a girl named Rachel
Her bite was vicious
and it sure was fatal
She liked to kiss all on my neval
Those are her
lips on top of my label
I knew another freak, her name was Candy
Real big
lips and they came in handy
I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
I
hooked the brood up with my homeboy Randy
He did me a favor in
return
Gave me a lizard, said her name was Laverne
Baby got tossed and I
got it on
I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song
My young homeboy
heard me rap
And said he had way more freaks than that
So I told him like
this: they might be freakin'
But, boy, you never had that T-P-Treatment...