Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve vai (guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Chuck wild (piano)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Scott thunes (bass)
Jay anderson (string bass)
Ed mann (percussion)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Ike willis (vocals)
Terry bozzio (vocals)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)
Bob harris (vocals)
Johnny "guitar" watson (vocals)
Rhonda: (stage whisper)
Harry, this is not dream girls!
Harry: (stage whisper)
They told me it had c-c-colored folk in it, rhonda, and that’s always a sure
sign of good, solid, musical entertainment! how was I supposed to know they’d
be this ugly?
Rhonda:
They pissed on us, harry! they f**kin’ pissed on us! look at my fox!
Harry:
I know, dear...but they pissed on me too...he did say they were incontinent!
Rhonda:
Just smell this! I think we should get out of here before they do something
else to us!
Harry:
Leave? now? at these ticket prices? just hold your horses...it probably
wasn’t real piss... only ’theater piss’...they probably have a formula...
some special stuff...comes right outta the fur w
Oolite.
Rhonda:
What’s happened to broadway, harry? used to be you could come to one of these
things and the wind would be rushing down the plain or a fairy on a string
would go over the audience...but now! har
Ask you: is this entertainment?
Harry:
You’re absolutely correct, dear! so far we haven’t seen a single
good-looking pair of legs...a single sequin-encrusted whatchamacallit ...no
firm, rounded breasts! this show is a disaster, rhond
Complete and utter disaster!
Thing-fish:
Mmmm! say dere...hey! umm-hmm! thass right! hey you! you two ugly white
folks...over heahhh!
As you know, de presence of carboniferous hard-core unemployables has
gen’rally, in de historical past, guaranteed an evenin’ of upliftin’
frolic and cavortment...it’d be a shame fo y’all t’miss
On dis here one! got some nice chairs fo’ ya, rights ovuh heahhh.
Harry & rhonda rise, cross to thing-fish, and sit in the chairs he offers.
they are immediately chained to them by the mammies.
Harry:
Uhhh...beg pardon? what’s going on here?
Rhonda:
Oh! they’re touching me! harry! harry! harry! harry, do something! they’re
putting chains on me! I’ll be stuck to the chair! oh! what’ll I do? I’ll
miss intermission!
Harry:
They’re only ’theater chains’, rhonda! just some sort of...
Rhonda:
These are real goddam chains, harry, and they’re not gonna come off with
woolite!
Harry:
I don’t mind the way they feel...they don’t bother me, honey...relax! go
with the flow...
Rhonda:
Harry, you are an over-educated shit-head!
Thing-fish:
Look here, folks...dis only fo yo own protexium! once we gets rollin’ heah,
things be happnin’ all over de place dat could prove dangerous to persons not
previously acquainted wit de san quentim
- potatoes!
Rhonda:
I want the wind to come rushing down the plain! I want fairies on a string over
the audience! I want real broadway entertainment! feathers! spot-lights! guilt!
hours upon hours of guilt! about m
Her! about my father! about brave women, suffering at the hands of infantile,
insensitive, dominating men! and what do I get? a potato-headed jig-a-boo with
catholic clothes on! incomprehensible
Lips! weak bladders draining through abnorminably large organs! jesus, harry!
what the f**k is going on here?
Harry:
Simmer down! if you’ll just roll with the punches...and don’t rock the
boat, I’m sure we’ll have a lovely evening at the theater!
Thing-fish:
Thass right! we got fairies on a string fo yo as* jes’ a little later!
meanwhile, I b’lieves y’all requires some updatement on de co-log-nuh
situatium! sister ob’dewlla ’x’! express yo’seff!
F Artists/Bands 
Frank Zappa CDs in sales 
