Criminal Lyrics

Criminal

A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot ofch people think
that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I
actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I
wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in
it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know
why?
Cuz I'm a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a
CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger
with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or
lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags?
The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my
jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd
better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of
em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just
checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you
expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to
jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen
(AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us
destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a
prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth
grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me
a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to
stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you
can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin
retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A
Fuck," still won't leave

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm a
CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a
crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't
gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit
from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes,
and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed
who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby
cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned
crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So
as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls
got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna
fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president
got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own
employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm
white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun
of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't
happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined -
*kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it
today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his
place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me
kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you
should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me
play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh
huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the
fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em]
Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em]
Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how
can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller]
Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill
you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill
you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill
me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up!
{*BOOM*} Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive
in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be
disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for
five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye
hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This
puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my
nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens
ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut
Shit,
half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white
naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin
rapist in a Jason mask

(Chorus 2X)