The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas
tree
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry
husband: Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree
The
third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Man getting over being
drunk: Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas
tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Exhausted
man: Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And
finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain
to me Five months of bills! Sending Christmas
cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas
tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Nervous
wife: Facing my in-laws Five months of bills! Oh, I hate those
Christmas cards! Hangovers Rigging up these lights! And finding a
Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to
me: Nervous wife's husband: The Salvation Army Facing my
in-laws Five months of bills! Sending Christmas cards Oh, geez! I'm
tryin' to rig up these lights! And finding a Christmas tree
The
eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me: Whining kid: I WANNA
TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! Charities, And whataya mean "YOUR
in-laws"?!? Five months of bills! Oh, making out these
cards Honey, get me a beer, huh? What, we have no extension
cords?!? And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me A tired father: Finding parking spaces DADDY,
I WANT SOME CANDY!!!! Donations! Facing my in-laws Five months of
bills! Writing out those Christmas cards Hangovers! Now why the hell
are they blinking?!?!? And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing
at Christmas that's such a pain to me: A mother: "Batteries Not
Included" No parking spaces BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!! Get a job, ya
bum! Oh, facing my in-laws! Five months of bills! Yo-ho, sending
Christmas cards Oh, geez, look at this! One light goes out, they ALL go
out!!! And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing of Christmas
that's such a pain to me: A male couch potato: Stale TV
specials "Batteries Not Included" No parking spaces DAD, I
GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!! Charities! She's a witch...I hate her! Five
months of bills! Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people! Oh, who's got
the toilet paper, huh? Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!! And finding a
Christmas tree
The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to
me: Two men: Singing Christmas carols Stale TV
specials "Batteries Not Included" No
parking?!? WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH! Charities! Gotta make 'em
dinner! Five months of bills! I'm not sendin' them this year, that's
it! Shut up, you! FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!! And
finding a Christmas tree
B Artists/Bands 
Bob Rivers CDs in sales 
